Spell Check

So. I'm sure you've all noticed my typos. There are a lot of them, to be honest. Every time I thought I have rid my blog of the last one another comes to light. I have an excuse though. I write most of my posts on a tablet. Upon this self same tablet there is a thing some people call 'spell check' and that I call my arch nemesis.

In a fit of annoyance I have penned a song to commemorate my deep abiding hatreds of spell check. This song must be sung to the tune of "Mother Knows Best." It's not my best poetical work, but I'm short on time and patience, so bear with me, I pray.


Behold, my masterpiece!

Spell check: Spell check knows best
listen to your Spell check
it's a scary world out there
Spell check knows best
One way or another
Something will go wrong, I swear
RUffians, thuggggs
Poyzin ivvy, quacksand
Kannibals adn snakEs
Teh plaige.

Me: Surely not.

Spell check: Yes!

Me: But...

Spell check: Also bugs large,
Pointy teethed mans and--
Stop, no more, you'll just upset me
Spell check is right here,
Spell check will protect you,
Darling here's what I suggest
Skip the drama
You can't even spell 'mama'
Spell check knows best!
Spell check knows best
Take it from your Spell check
On your own, you won't survive
Sloppy, ungrammatical
On the keyboard your are clumsy
Please, you'll roast yourself alive!
You gullible knave,
You're positively nerdy
Ditzy--you can't even spell 'vague!'
Plus I believe, getting kinda wordy,
I'm just saying 'cause I love you (not)
Spell check understands,
Spell check's here to help you
All I have is one request!
Lissy?

Me: ...yes?

Spell check: Don't you ever turn off your spell check again!

Me: *sigh* Yes, Spell check.

Spell check: Don't forget it
You'll regret it
SPELL CHECK KNOWS BEST!!!